I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
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Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
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WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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