Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize