SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dicks are not precious.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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