Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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