You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
