Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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