I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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