p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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