Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
