Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The air was thick with penises
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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