the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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