whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Randomize
