I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
