We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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