somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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