Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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