Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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