Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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