yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
