I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
