There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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