No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
