it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
