No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
