You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
The best revenge is premature balding
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
