Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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