we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
