I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I checked into jail on foursquare
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My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
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It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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