Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
