So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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