Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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