Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
