If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
