South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
