Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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