She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
