seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
ttyl tear gas
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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