that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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