I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My liver just had a heart attack.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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