HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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