yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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