Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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