took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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