Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
