sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
