8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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