I'm laying in your front yard are you home
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
