making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
