omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
