I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
