dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Where is the hickey?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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