Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
