When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
