I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She said her name was "party"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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