i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
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