I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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