At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
vagina is talking i cant
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
