I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize