It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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