dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize