it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
