She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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