could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so let's talk penis.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
